FAQ

Is this website and community just for men?

No! It’s designed for men with their needs in mind but it’s open to everyone who wants to educate themselves on the topic of men’s mental and emotional health in both the workplace and wider society.

That being said, the Facebook groups we will shortly be launching (not including the main page itself) will be private and for men only. This is to give them the space they need to discuss and share difficult and sensitive topics without fear of judgement.

What about boys?

Whilst we appreciate that boys are just as important given their high suicide rate, this site is aimed at men because, though it may surprise many to know, our most at risk group in society are men aged between 42-49 years old (though this changes to younger men in Northern Ireland).

That ‘mid life crisis’ we joke about? That kills our men. There are many great charities and organisations supporting our boys and we feel that men deserve a voice and more importantly, deserve to feel heard.

What do you mean by “emotional health”?

Exactly what it says on the tin; understanding and looking after our emotions so that we can analyse and regulate them for good mental health.

In supporting so many men, we consistently find that they struggle with low self-esteem, confidence and shame in the way that they feel. We want to help men normalise conversations around their feelings and give them the courage and recognition their minds don’t often feel they deserve!

Isn’t it sexist to specialise in men?

We get it. For many, it can be seen as controversial to want to support and help men when much of our society is still patriarchal but as we will always say; trauma and pain aren’t competitions and men deserve a own voice. Giving men a voice doesn’t mean silencing others.

Within the risk averse world of employment, recognising differences in your workplace demographic and creating specific support initiatives for each group may seem a one-way ticket to an Employment Tribunal for discrimination but it doesn’t have to be if set up well and for the right reasons, backed by evidential research (which we can help with!).

In male-dominated sectors and professions, it is vital that workplaces support and champion their minority groups (whomever they are) but For Our Men don’t accept that you need to support minorities to the exclusion of your majority simply because they’re men. That is not legally equal, morally just or necessary.

Isn’t there already enough for men?

There are lots of charities and organisations such as CALM who are doing a great job at increasing awareness but we’re getting tired of campaigns and “hashtag healthcare” without simultaneous investment and action for our men.

This is particularly true in workplaces when they say they have awareness campaigns and we reply with “Great! Now what?” and we get met with awkward silence. That’s where we come in. We want to go deeper than awareness around statistics. We want to get workplaces, managers and colleagues to truly understand their men and feel empowered to improve workplace support for them.

Many of the current men-centred initiatives in society such as Heads Up focus on (typically male) social activities whereas we believe that supporting men in the workplace (where they spend a huge chunk of their time) is the key to good mental health both in and outside of working hours.

What about women?

Completely valid question with a few important answers:

1. Discussing men’s mental health in male-dominated workplaces and sectors will help women as many take on traditionally male traits and personas to succeed in such companies and organisations (not a criticism but an observation).
   
   This point is anecdotally made but many women who die by suicide in male-dominated professions often die by methods usually associated with men which is why it’s so vital we get into organisations to discuss men because it benefits everyone!
   
2. It’s difficult to surmise this in a paragraph but women are conditioned to create and nurture strong emotional support networks, be introspective and discuss feelings with others. In other words, the current ‘people need to talk’ societal narrative is geared toward the ‘feminine’ which disadvantages many men who struggle to seek support or even recognise they’re struggling to begin with.

When we work with organisations we always ensure we highlight that the needs of every group in that workplace should be specifically addressed to improve wellbeing practices for all but for us to attempt to specialise in every groups’ specific needs does a disservice to everyone. We don’t want to be a “Jack of all trades; Master of none”!

That being said, we will include content created by women and hear women’s perspectives in relation to men’s issues (where appropriate).

How can you help us?

Lots of ways!

We aren’t a support service. If you are in need of help and support, please check out our “I Need Help” page here.

Primarily the purpose of this website is to educate individuals within the workplace, organisations and wider society on men’s mental and emotional health so that they have a better understanding of themselves and each other.

For Our Men hopes to become a community of men, run by men, supporting and championing each other.

We also go into workplaces to educate and advise organisations on men’s mental health and how to create specific support for them including running presentations and workshops (laugher and swearing are mandatory when discussing such difficult topics).

If you would like to discuss your workplace needs or receive an introduction in men’s mental health, please get in touch with us.

Who runs For Our Men?

Right now (unbelievably), it’s one person – Toni (you can meet her here) – and she set up this website and designed our grand plans principally because she was supporting so many men (most of whom are police) she realised how much of a need there was in educating workplaces on the differences and specificity of men’s mental and emotional health in order to tailor support initiatives for them.

How are you funded?

The short answer? We’re not. We currently run as a social enterprise (yet to be formalised) whereby any money we make from speaking at police events or working with companies goes back into this website and attempting to fund our objectives.

I want to help. What can I do?

Great! The more the merrier. There are lots of ways you can help For Our Men grow to become the international community we know it has the potential to be.

You can write for us, get us into your workplace or just like and share our content. Head over to our Get Involved page and let’s make it happen!

You can also donate toward the general up-keep of our site or simply in recognition of our hard work!

I have another question…

Perfect! We love curious people.

Head on over to our contact page and we’ll see if we can answer those burning questions for you!

(please note that we can’t offer individual advice or support; this is purely if you have a general question you’d like answered)