What you say
Don’t just take our word on how effective our education and support is, let some of our people our founder has helped prove it:
“Toni is literally a lifesaver. Her fierce advocacy for the mental wellbeing of men, particularly in policing, has improved countless lives; mine included. Her advice is always delivered with empathy and backed up with faultless evidential research.”
Detective Sergeant
“Has Toni helped me? Yes. We first spoke, when I hoped she would come and speak to my team. Regrettably that didn’t happen, chiefly because I work for an organisation that can’t support men. It will support men & women and it will support women, but not men. Since then I would like to think we have become friends. I have shared a great deal in my own way, Toni would probably say I share very little, but I work in a field of secrets, mystery and intrigue. I have worked in the shadows for 20 years; it leaves scars.
Most recently Toni used her contacts enabling me to get aid to my son, isolated several hundred miles away. This meant everything to me. Thank you.
Toni, is fighting for a cause she believes in passionately and it is a worthy cause; she and I have discussed the uphill struggle she has faced and continues to face in relation to this cause. The police is a huge organisation; it has very slowly brought women to the fore ground and this means Toni is now fighting two fronts. An organisation that doesn’t want to admit a huge part of its workforce are damaged, broken, in need of help and a organisation that has lost the ability to deal with men and women in isolation, embracing the differences, using their strengths, but has to see everything as equal. We aren’t, we never were.
Toni I am a huge supporter of your work and your cause.”
Detective Sergeant
“Well. What have you done for me? The biggest thing you’ve done is to acknowledge that it’s ok to feel the way I do and that my feelings are legitimate. You’ve cared about my mental health and have, despite your own stuff going on, always made the time to check in with me.
You’ve said stuff publicly that I wouldn’t / couldn’t have said myself and you’ve made one hell of a dent in the perceptions that men are impervious to poor mental health, mental trauma and never fail. You’ve tackled poor managers who speak eloquently on the subject but then fail to actually address the lack of meaningful support available to men. You’ve been an uncomfortable thorn in the side of many who think they’re doing great things for men’s mental health when the reality is completely opposite.
You’ve helped to keep me afloat and you’ve helped me to see that there are others just like me and I’m not alone or different or special.”
Mark, ex-police officer
“You have been a non judgemental ear. You have listened and replied and always made time for me.”
Martin, train guard & ex-police staff
“I just wanted to say to you I loved your session and I printed off the PowerPoint I’m old like that. Anyway I was by the printer and a “happy chappy” walked by. I says “hi” and something told me he wasn’t right … So I said …. do you know less than 50% men are asked how they are ? He smiled and so I asked so …how are you ?
40 mins later after explaining about his personal life I feel I was able to actively listen and guide towards support …. cue next person who I tell what just happened again a male trainer … his eyes filled up and he opened up to me …. wow the power of a piece of paper with words on ….what a tool !
So thank you for giving me the confidence to just ask …… priceless!”
West Midlands Police session attendee
“I’m of the generation that subscribed to the ‘man up’ mentality, but following you has helped me to accept that sometimes life’s a bit cack and it does take its toll. I now admit to myself that I still suffer due to stuff I’ve had to deal with (professional and personal).
I’ve seen you bravely bare your soul on Twitter and it gave me the confidence to take those first tentative steps in talking about me, something I’ve never been good at. I’m better at talking about it with my wife and select friends now, as a direct result of your bravery. Thank you.
On the whole, life is good. I’m now more confident in talking about my own feelings to others and the black dog only drops by every now and again.”
Brian, ex-Armed Forces & Police
“I stumbled across your Twitter account when I was a PC on my old team. I then became a sergeant and I’ve found your tweets really helpful because when I started as a PC over 7 years ago there wasn’t much awareness on mental health. I also really enjoyed your blog. Your support not only for police in general but the mental health of officers across the various forces is incredible. Thank you for everything you do.”
Police Sergeant, MPS
“I’d picked up on Toni’s twitter account after seeing things get retweeted, and her sheer bravery and determination to help others really struck me. I happened to make an innocuous comment about having to make some changes in my life and Toni got in touch. She offered me some genuinely lovely advice and her words made me think of things a different way. I see the testimonials of others who talk to her and it’s easy to understand why she’s so highly thought of and making positive change in the world of mental health within the police.”
Police Local Federation Vice Chair
“Through reading your posts you helped me to have the courage about speaking to a councillor about losing my parents (dad first) and the effect it had on my mum and how it dragged her to a point of giving up and eventually dying through becoming an alcoholic and to be able to discuss also the fact that my mum was raped a few years before her passing, I have had the guilt of that for years and although I am able in some way to still speak about it to a point, I still feel like a could have done something or more to prevent it. I thank you”
AFO, City of London Police
“Our chats and messages have been 100%helpful and supportive for me. Understanding and not judging helps immensely.”
ex-Armed Forces & currently serving police officer
“I can say that although we’ve never met or spoken over the phone but I have found your tweets and DM’s really helpful. You’ve sent me get well DM’s and tweets when I was suffering my cardiac problem which took many months to sort out. I was feeling alone and my confidence was suffering but you helped with your kind messages and I felt that someone actually cared. It was a scary place for me at the time but you helped me keep positive and your tweets were always positive and kept me going in a positive direction. Thank you for your help, unless people have been in our position they rarely understand how big an impact a simple tweet or message can have. Thank you so much for what you are doing for us men in blue light services.”
Craig, Ambulance Service
“You have helped me by being available to chat, and you make yourself chattable to me by being open, honest and vulnerable.”
Mike, general public